We all have friends of the opposite sex. I have many that were childhood friends, friends of the family and acquaintances I know from work, church or from my comings and goings. The close opposite sex friends do talk from time to time and we often ask each other questions about what is going on in our lives. The big question: should you ask about love relationship advice ever from them?
There are three camps on this subject, but before we delve into them, let’s talk about the psychology of love. The law of attraction is a funny thing and someone can be attracted to you when you least expect it. This is something to be mindful of when asking girls and guys advice as there is a thin line between friendships and romance. Men need to be especially careful because of the male instinct that makes us look at many women partners as potential mates. If you intend to keep a woman as a friend be sure to draw the lines early and often and reemphasize your primary relationship and your dedication to it so there will be no mistake.
With that said, let’s take a look at romantic advice from opposite sex friends:
• Girls and guys advice will be limited to that friend’s experience. Asking general questions will be okay but be advice about more specialized subjects will be directly tied to that person’s experience and personality. A friend who is the life of the party will definitely give different advice than a person who is shy and reserved, so consider your source carefully.
• They may have a secret crush on you. This person often will mix their thoughts and feelings with their advice and may ask questions to answer yours just so they can check your interest. This is not always a bad thing, especially if you are not in a committed relationship and sometimes opposite sex friends turn into love relationships. The opposite can be true if you are in a committed relationship and time spent with these type of “friends” can wind up causing you to question your relationship with your lover. If that is the case, do not allow these to tear down what you have built over time and examine facts rather than feelings when it comes to love relationships.
• Advice from a older friend or a deeply platonic relationship. Often the most honest and truthful advice you can get. Motherly and fatherly advice falls here and I cannot tell you how much I learned from my parents in this regard. If you are in a committed relationship and have to ask someone a question, these are the people you should ask (Sexual questions are a different sort of course).
Girls and guys advice from peers friends can also be interesting. A friend’s wife gave me an interesting insight on what I should do on my 5th anniversary and it was great advice about doing something special with my gift presentation. They will also be willing to share things they do with your peers more willingly often especially if you are a close friend and they tend to want to please you as a favor to their own mate (that is if they see you as an ally rather than as a rival for their attentions). Use these associations if you have them to help you out.
Opposite sex friends advice can be a good source of info on improving your romantic relationships but remember it is just that – advice. Depend on your own mind to make decisions about love and communicate often with those you love to make these relationships better. The psychology of love is a funny thing and you have to remember that spending too much time with a member of the opposite sex tends to build attraction — spend that time and energy with the person you really want to build a lasting love relationship with and draw the line of friendship with everyone else.
